I don’t know why,I should be happy that I have time to write on my blog—well I was and am—but in fact, I’ve got nothing to write (or maybe many, but I just can’t remember, my mind is so fluttered at the moment)
So maybe the bowl should wait for another sweetly sugar free stories 
tata ♥
Today (Sunday) is my first driving lesson. Mum made an appointment with the trainer at 10 am punctual. However, as usual I was late and I arrived at 10.13 am 
I was instantly told to drive. Well my parents said that I’ve never driven a car before but that’s a total lie. I have driven cars. My grandpa taught me driving cars since when I was in 9th grade of school. However, I was lazy to sacrifice my sundays for driving lessons so it didn’t continue. But to tell you the truth, I have mastered the very basic of driving cars.
If my problem was how slow I drove, now the problem is how fast I drive. I thought the my forever-trouble in driving cars in my too-slow-speed. So I speed up a bit nowadays. But my trainer didn’t seem to like it very much (or at all). His favorite word of the day is ‘PELAN-PELAN, NON’ – ‘SLOW DOWN, YOUNG LADY’. And what I couldn’t accept in mind at all is that, he told me to slow down in a completely vast road. But consider that he’s my trainer, I’m his student for 9 more hours, and my grandpa was in the back seat, I just obeyed.
But I don’t wanna remember how awful my expression was. It gives some butterfly in my stomach.
However, my mum’s counting me in. And I’ve promised to myself,
Someday soon I will drive you wherever you want, mum
*Never give up*
No one can underestimate me when I’m putting all my hearts in doing something. No one can underestimate me when I’m bombarding with my talks.
And no one can underestimate my power when I stand up, and take an action.
I would never let some people down or cry. I’d stand up for them, I’d die defending them.
First is my mom. I would love to get down and help mom cutting the throat of the one who hurt her. I’d love to debate her. I’d love to lock her tongue down. I swear I could be just killing when I mean it.
Second is my best friend. I would love to beat who beat her. I would love to make him cry like how he made her cry. I would love to throw out some miraculous words to their face. I would love to slap them as hurt as how they stab her heart.
Third is everyone I love. No one can underestimate me when I’m honestly doing what I’m likely to be doing.
I am furious.
No one can hurt the ones I love.
Why So Serious?
The Joker. The Gotham city’s villain’s hero. The best part of Dark Night. The last and most total act from Heath Ledger (in memoriam)
The other alias of Mr. Germ.
Last English course, Marcy finally told me the story between Mr. Germ and her. And I was true. They got a crush on each other, but always seemed ignoring each other in school. Marcy got tired and got over him soon. She wanted to be back to normal friends with him, but she couldn’t. They just seemed cold to each other until now. And she watched it yesterday when he said ‘anything for the lady’ to me.
So I also told her what’s been going on with Mr. Germ and me. And before that, I was talking about the movie, The Dark Night, and that the best part of the film was the act of Heath Ledger as The Joker. So somehow we decided to call him The Joker.
And in the whole course, we were talking about him non-stop. Even when we were told to make war-correspondent news, we used Joker’s birth date as the date when the war occurred. And the main actor of the war was, no one else, The Joker. Then his team gave my team (only consisted of Marcy and me) some keywords to span their news. They were written on The Joker’s book. And until home time, he didn’t look for it. So Marcy told me to just keep the book. I agreed. I brought the book.
And we were giggling when we were walking down the stairs.
We are having a conspiracy against The Joker, I guess.
But:
Why so serious?
:p
He’s the most pure and sincere guy here.
Or at least that’s what I see in him. He’s stunning, in his own way. He’s not gorgeous (as what my friends say, but I think he’s kind of cute though). He has painted his figure all over my mind.
I first met him, well, I don’t know the exact time. But the first time I knew him was in the class representative meeting (it’s called APK here in my school, stands for Anggota Perwakilan Kelas, kind of parliamentary association, giving out class’ aspiration toward the school activities. I’m my class’ representative, he’s his, and he’s the vice president of APK) when I was still in 10th grade (now I’m in the 11th grade since July). I wasn’t interested; he wasn’t an eye candy at all. The first time I talked to him was in the next class representative meeting, when the president didn’t attend so he was leading the meeting. That was also the first time he absorbed my attention. That time he was giving me a lot of attention too, even though we hadn’t known each other before. I like the way he talked to me, brief in a sweet way. And let’s say, he’s got a killer smile.
Some next few days I told this to my best friends, and we decided to call him ‘sapi’ (Indonesian word for cow). Because one of my cow in harvest moon (I’ve played this game like forever ago) has a same name with him, accidentally. And they told me all they know about this guy. Combined with my knowledge and my thoughts, he is one of a kind, a real kind I’m looking forward.
So this sapi never talked to me again. I guess because he’s kind of shy, and I’m kind of prejudiced that I’m a girl he should always talk first :p. but every time I got my eyes on him, our sights met. And I caught him times, having a deep look on me. And also I caught him times smiling awkwardly (well, like I also do) when we were nearby each other.
Yesterday right after I arrived to school and got out from my car, he was walking towards the school gate. And he found me, caught me watching at him, and gave his killer smile. And I felt like I was melting down.
And today when I was standing in front of my class door, he came and found me, and then he stood across me, pressing his cell phone num pad.
And smiled awkwardly.
Then he walked away, and back again, and went away again. I was looking at him on his rear but then I think he caught me because he turned over his head and looked at me. Then I turned my head too but soon I was back looking at him until he turned over his head at looked at me again.
It might be just my too good feeling that he actually got attention on me too (well let’s not hope so). But I just like him J
And like what Chris Carrabba said in one of Dashboard Confessional’s song.
For my cutie sapi:
You have stolen my heart
I have loved you. But it’s some when in the past. I know you’re a fine guy. You’ve got it all: you’re smart, you’re gorgeous, you’re cool, you’re that kind of boy every girl would love to be with.
I know you’ve changed. I know you’ve left all your fancy girls, your fancy reputation, just for having an ordinary girl to be with you. But that girl has changed too.
I have loved you. Yesterday as fancy as you want me to. But today, it’s time for loving you as simple as I want myself to.
You got mad for not owning. You’re obsessed to have. And I’m judging you because I’m tired of being judged and caged with nothing to consider that you can do that.
I’m tired of having your whole thrones in our both case. I’m tired to fake all juicy smiles I’ve been told to make up for you. I’m tired for being told that you don’t love me anymore, but you would come back for sure in the next second.
I’m tired of you.
I recall a maturity. I recall a sense to wake my mind up. I recall a sincerity that would keep me on going forever.
I have loved you. But not in the way you’d love me to. And if someday you ask, would I have the guts to say,
I don’t love you like I did yesterday.
Yes I will sincerely say that.
I am sorry.
Don’t be back.
When I was in my way to the dentist on Friday evening, I suddenly remember about something that happened in quite a long time ago, when I was in primary school.
I was, you know, popular. Ugh… quite… very… you know, all teachers knew me and I was always be my school’s ambassador. And my school was in a complex with another school and, ugh, let’s say, popular girls in school next to mine had always tried to look for troubles with me, and my friends. Jealousy, I guess. Because the boys they had a crush on crush had a crush on me :p
Everyone thought that I was having a jet-set life and my house would likely not to be a house, but mansion instead. But I’m always sure that I’m not like that, hehe. Just, my dad is a hard worker and we had a sweet, nice and comfy house. But when I was in primary school, I lived with my grandparents in an old house. Not great at all, but it’s quite big and comfy, even though it has leaky roof here and there.
One day somehow no one could pick me up home from school. I was panic but then a group of friends offered to ride me home. They are three girls who were not so popular and even considered as geeks so other popular guys just wouldn’t hang out with them. But you know what I always thought of them besides that they were just some nerds? They are actually sweet hearted. They said I could sit in the back seat of one of their bicycle. Well, they were looked a little bit doubt because as what they said they weren’t expecting a girl who always ride a car could sit in a bicycle’s back seat. I said it was silly. I was a little bit prissy when I was younger, but that’s just too much.
So we rode to my grandparents’ house. After arriving, they seemed had taken aback. I told them to come in. we went upstairs. My housekeeper brought up some snacks and beverages. We had a light talk, which I bet no one had ever imagined how I had played with geeks. Then one of them, Fika, the most assertive one, said:
“It’s beyond my expectation, SItha. I mean your house isn’t really…”
And the other two girls, along with her also, instantly put their hands on Fika’s mouth.
“Sssh that’s impolite” said Linda.
“Oops.. I’m sorry..” Fika apologized.
I smiled. Then I explained that I would never like anyone to think that I had a mansion or something like that cz I don’t. The house was, well, not as nice as my parents’, but it’s comfy. And that’s what you actually need from a house.
A year later, another group of three girls visited my house too. But these one were the popular gang next school who envied me :p. And their expressions were exactly the same with Fika and friends’. Just, they added some disgusted face and a winner brag with it 
and you know what they said?
“It’s beyond my expectation, SItha. I mean your house isn’t really great. I thought it’s gonna be a mansion,”
“Yeah…yeah”
“I agree”
And that reminded me to the geeks.
And my conclusion is, never ever get people, especially your friends, into groups of geeks, popular, jocks, nor preps, because it can’t determine anything about them. Talk to them, and listen. That’s how you divide congeniality.
*love friends*
I always thought that last Tuesday would be a greatly beautiful day, that I would have my debate-trainer-to-be come to my school to talk over things. But then it turned into one of the most hellish day in the whole year so far.
The morning started with a little too-early-debate with my mum. But you know it happens quite often so somehow I get used to it, hehe. I went to school with my both eyes hardly couldn’t open. I slept in the whole journey and was totally sighing when I arrived at school. I didn’t pay attention to what my visual art teacher said (you know I’ve got a little hatred to him caused by last Tuesday accident when he totally dishonor my drawing) except that he was giving us a task to collect and stick-or sumthin like that-kinds of textures into an A3 drawing book. Oh wow, impressive task he gave. Then in English class, what I was thinking is all about my coach, when would he come? What took him so long? Well it wasn’t long at all actually. I just couldn’t help myself somehow. Then voila! He sent me an sms that he’d been in the front office. So Zafira (my classmate, my present debate club president, the 1st speaker of my debate team while I’m the 2nd and reply speaker, my partner in all English competition I’ve participated during high school, a good friend of mine, my greatest health rival in English subjects) and me asked ma’am Clara (my English teacher, the debate club coordinator, the one Ziad the debate coach was about to meet) to go out of the class and bring him here. So I met him and brought him in front of my class, accompanied him for some minutes ma’am Clara was still teaching in the class. Well I gotta say he acted a lil bit quirky. And I am (not) over confident but he always smiled unintended-ly when I started paying attention to him-I mean to what he was saying so that I looked into him and things. And we had a deal in payment, over our ‘natural’ ability. Oh whatever. It seemed to be the only good part of that day. What’s next is that I was back to class and given assignments which I couldn’t do actually (because it was religion and the teacher told us to look for some part in the Holy Qur’an which I couldn’t touch because I’m not allowed-or for some people including my family and me-to due to my ‘period’) and suddenly one of the school staffs came and called who didn’t attend to the independence day ceremony. Well, I didn’t. They baked us under the ‘cool’ sun for about an hour and it was enough to make my head got dizzy and my skin got darker than ever as a punishment. Plus, some yelling and sarcastic mocks about how in nationalist we are, which were a bit silly. Okay, I’m done with it. I got back to the class, and had to face another monster: physucs.
Later on after school was over, I hurried to go home because I was nearly dead-okay I wasn’t-but I was very exhausted. I slept in the whole journey home, again. I couldn’t escape from sleepiness after I arrived so I took a nap on my sofa, because I know sleeping in my bed would make me pass my English course in the next two hours. After that, I prepared myself and realized sumthin: my English course folder with all books inside it had been missing. I looked for it for half an hour and as usual my mom yelled at me for that. I went to course without bringing any books, only my review homework, and I was very late. My teacher-however-was generous; so he was okay.
When I got home, I asked my mom to make a permission letter for not attending the ceremony as tasked while doing my own task. That was when mom got a bit disappointed, and blamed me a lil. Well she was telling a good thing I suppose, but it sounded really silly to me; consider that my mind got a process of critically overwhelming radicalism if I’m in a bad mood. I rebutted, considering dining table as a debate contest again, and my mom got mad for it. But thank God that she’s my mom and like every other person says that your parents will never be able not to love you, she ‘recovered’ in no time.
I got sick with the day. I lied in my bed, covered all my body under the blanket, and closed my eyes, not forgetting to take a deep breath before I fell asleep.
*keep holding on*
Sunday August 17th 2008
Independence day! Also 1 day after Sarah’s birthday. As she promised me the day before (on august 16th-her birthday) she’s gonna treat me for a hang out. That morning I was here online watching avatar and updating my facebook and blog when I accepted her sms:
“Hey, we r gonna hang out 2day aint we? Whr u? Whn shud I go 2 ur house?”
“I’m home, ya ya ya. Up2u, nw is ok :p”
“K, imma go thr nw. b rady!“
I didn’t get up and get ready though *LOL* I kept on watching avatar. Few more minutes she arrived here. I opened the gate and got into my room changing clothes. Then I grabbed her hand and pull her upstairs, continuing watching *LOL* She grabbed my phone and sent some new songs she hadn’t had, while throwing out some sarcastic jokes *LOL* After some long time we prepared and went downstairs. We had to wait my father first, then we set off to a mall (Galaxy mall )
Arrived there, we first bought sum donuts from J.Co. I chose mona pisa snow white and mint choco caviar and she chose al capone crunchy crunchy and da vinchees. We walked to KFC and had lunch there (she paid all the food we bought, which is some kind of things she didn’t usually do at all) She told me to eat it all with no butts :S But I can never eat all my food up so I forced my throat to swallow the last pieces 
then we decided to watch movie since we’ve got no other ideas of wasting time. Arrived on the cinema , I was surprised to see the sign: NO FOODS ALLOWED. So we ran away and stuffed the donut box into Sarah’s bag (which is not big sized) and put her belongings (shoes and school uniform) into my bag (which is more not big sized) until my bag can’t be zipped up. Then we get in and ruined the queue line bcz we were in a hurry that the only film we were interested in (The Mummy 3) had been playing. After got the tickets, we hurried to enter the studio. We made noises and weren’t sure if the seats we were sitting on was correct (since there wasn’t any cinema attendant there ) it was totally super silly! But we kinda enjoyed the film
We didn’t know what to do again! So we stepped outta the cinema and stepped into timezone we played silly games and embarrassed ourselves in playing table hockey for children :S Then we went to the photo box. We snapped pics but the outcome didn’t appear. We tried twice but it still didn’t work. So we ask the employee to give something back to us. He gave me a letter that I can snap pic in that photo box freely next time when I’m here. Then we went home.
And after we went home, she went home.
I know it doesn’t sound really fascinating for anyone who only read,
But it was more than just fascinating for both of us
*love you*
I haven’t forgotten how we were, boy, about six months back. Joking around and always put together in a team. You helped me in my vocabulary betting match and so do I. Got chosen as the only couple in class in the drama. How was I the queen of germs and you were the king
Everything was so lovely until you left. Nice were those laughters painted in my memory, but not were the lies.
That’s when I buried all my crushes to you. But then, now, you’re back.
Yes it was the gorgeous Mr Germs, a boy in my English course I used to have got a crush on. I was deeeeeeply a fan of him until he left (he took an off period) and soon I discovered his lies. That’s when I stopped liking him. After a term without his existence, he finally gets back to my course.
But he didn’t get back to my thoughts.
Yesterday, we were (again) having a drama. But I wasn’t in a group with him I’m in another group which had to direct his group play. I set him to role as a baby I was teaching the other guy (who role as the father) to pamper the baby. But somehow he wasn’t good at accepting my teachings so my partner told me to show him the way. Well I am not gonna cuddle him ever, but I had to. So I show a lil bit ‘Oh my baby stop crying,‘ and managed to handle blushing Then I told Mr Germ to roll down on the floor crying. Well our classmates made fun of him. But he just said, “Well, everything for the lady” and threw a smile to me.
Stunning.
But that’s not gonna change anything ever
*thanks*
